Holy moody, Batman!

Laurennnnnn give me attention!

It’s true what they say, you really only need one person in your life to turn it all around

I feel so incredibly down and lost. Not only am I unable to communicate with others lately, but I fear that I’ve lost the ability to communicate with myself. Whenever I’ve been in a rut I was able to pick up an instrument and get everything out on the table to sort out. Instead, I sit with these blank pages and a head full of self doubt. Hate to throw a pity party, but this one is a banger lol.

I am too afraid of failure more so with the things that I’m good at.

For thousands of years the world was believed to be flat. An end was believed to be in sight, but that was further from the truth. Perceptually, we see an end as one of the only constants in our lives. Eventually, we found that we were wrong. The world is a sphere that has no end. You can run for thousands of years in circles and never fall. At times, I wish there was an edge to run off of. Our lives work similarly. No matter how much we believe there is beginning and end, it is only a constant circle. Some things never do change, and that is one of the only things that I’ve been proven to believe. No matter what I do I’ll always end up in this spot… This crossroad… This fork in the road where no matter what I decide, I end up back on the circle. You can call it apathy, but to me, it’s realistic to say who cares what happens next? It’ll all end up circling back anyway.

Well after that dream I wouldn’t mind cliff diving with no parachute lol

We keep testing the waters that we poisoned. So who will be the first to drink?

Finally after a very long week I can get a good night’s sleep! I can’t wait to get home and keep it low key for a while.

Know what annoys me… “__________ + _________ forever!” Why do these people feel such a need to make such a broad statement as forever. In a culture that can’t think but five minutes ahead of themselves, I’m supposed to believe that forever is a concept worth grasping? The only measure of time people understand are fifteen minute breaks, forty hours a week, 7 days paid vacation, one hour news program, 30 second paid sponsoring, etc. Our people have no concept of forever because its not a paid measurement that we can fathom.

I had a nightmare that the only thing I fulfilled was the American dream. Tragic, indeed.

Really had an awesome night with my friends. I enjoy talking to people and am honored when they let me dive into their minds and their lives. Having hours of conversation about the pursuit of happiness (as Jefferson put it) and what that really entails. The amount of cultural trained complacency in this place makes me sick! We are all entitled to so much more than our spoon fed agendas. Our degrees, houses, relationships, competitive capitalistic gains, etc. It’s really nice to have that conversation with someone intellectual who hasn’t necessarily thought like that before. I enjoy when people open up to me and spill the biggest parts of their souls to me when they rarely do that to begin with. It also allows me the opportunity to look at my life and appreciate it! My music, my girlfriend, my living situation, its all near perfect. So fortunate.

Fade to black was the first song I ever performed in my life at the age of 10. Wow, time flies.

I am so in love with my girlfriend. I spend time with my family and think about how much she belongs with me, I come home to try to schedule poker games to try to get close with her family because I hope that one day they can be a part of mine. She’s the best thing to happen to me.