My personal blog with thoughts, lyrics, pictures, etc. Everything that you read here is written by myself unless otherwise noted.
I will never claim to understand this… But I do accept it… We are all connected. I just hope to never forget it.
I believe that human beings are constantly at war with themselves and their consciousness. It is rare that I meet people who are enlightened, aware, and capable of self thought (not just regurgitated instruction). Things like politics, religion, race, sex, revenge, sports, entertainment all keep us at bay from achieving great things together. I am not saying that I do not indulge in some of these things in life, but I try not to allow it to consume it. So many people waste their lives taking instruction from others, from their television sets, from their entertainment… instruction on where to work, who to date, what they need to do to find a soul mate, what the world issues are… instructions on what to be prideful in, why you need patriotism (and other forms of nationalism), how to help wars with cause, what to eat, what sins to indulge in, what to wear, what to drive… instruction on how to live.
Let that sink in for a second… we are given instruction on how to live. Every single day this baby of a culture instructs us on how to lead our lives as if he has it all figured out. On the grand scale of life, this culture is a spec on a timeline and certainly has its flaws.
During these times we have discovered incredible marvels. We’ve built skyscrapers, explored space, open the means of communication across the globe, cured and created disease, etc. Yet, we still challenge the idea of what we are capable of. We still lack the confidence as a species to achieve anything. We still exercise powerlessness because of our conscious division from each other.
We still stand so far divided between ideas like creationism vs. evolution, black vs. white, religion vs. atheism, capitalism vs. communism, and democrat vs. republican. These ideological divisions inhibit us from opening our mind beyond who and what we are capable of.
Our culture is still very young. I will say it again, our culture is still very young. We are still divided among religions on which religion is pure. The answer is that none of them are. Not a single religion on the planet is pure. Stained history pages while they grew as we did as species. We still live in a society that teaches peaceful teachings of Jesus, go to worship in a 5 million dollar mega church, while fighting the idea of aiding other countries and classes, voting to go to war, and passing a homeless man on the street in judgment. This is only one example of a religious stereotype.
On top of that, religion has spiraled so far out of control that the world has seen a surge in atheism. How can one believe in a God when our culture operates so poorly under one’s name? Religion has come to parallel weakness in our lives. I have always been able to associate 90% of the religious people I knew as weak minded. That is because religion has always had very skewed ideas.
Ideas like a baby being a gift from God (even if it was the result of something negative), when someone dies they say “it was just their time,” people constantly say things like “it is in God’s plan” or “He know when you’re going to be born and when you’re going to leave.” And my favorite is the belief in this child like reward system of a Heaven vs. a Hell.
These statements and beliefs are crutches for the weak. If you TRULY believe in God’s plan for your life and your fate, I challenge you to take a loaded gun to your head right this second and pull the trigger. If you are right, and it is not your time then the gun will fail. But you will not do this because even as a religious person you have enough sense to know that that will not happen. To expect a gun to fail because something is in God’s hands is to account something to probability, not fate. And you are not willing to do that.
God knows when you are going to be born and when you are going to die. Well then what the hell is the point then? If the plan is already there in place why even put you on the Earth in the first place? Entertainment? Again, this is bullshit.
Then we have the reward system of Heaven vs. Hell for following a set of rules. How about the hypocrisy that the majority of religious people practice in this culture. So right there on the commandments is “thou shalt not commit adultery” yet you’re signed up with Ashley Madison, “thou shalt not kill,” yet you vote to go to war to “defend freedom,” and “thou shalt not steal,” yet there you are working in business every single day. Pretty hypocritical bunch these people are.
So here is where I stand, I do not know these answers. I know what I know based on my life and my thoughts. Here is what I believe, I do believe in a creator and a God. I do not believe that it is anything that resembles even close to an age old book that depicts things during times where slavery was still legal. But I do believe.
Fate is yours to create. You are a living being. You are capable of connecting with the planet, the sun, and the universe. You are the God. The creator is not about relinquishing control of your life and trusting it in his hands, it is about taking control of your life and exercising your FREE WILL to become something great. When you disconnect from the bent information you are fed, when you see the world for what it is, when you study the history, when you realize love, when you feel that connection between your mind and earth, you cannot help but believe that there is something more powerful there.
Science, the law of attraction, the universe, and you were created by a creator. The name Jesus, Muhammad, Buddah, etc. mean nothing to what the creator really is. These are figureheads. There is no reward for picking the right religion, becoming a martyr, or spreading the word of God. There is no reward for relinquishing control of your life and trusting in God. That is weakness. Instead realize the greatest gift that you were given by a creator; life. Realize that you have control. He does not schedule your death or your creation but instead gave you a beautiful place where human beings have the ability to create and destroy freely. You are the extension of the universe, you are all powerful, and you are able to achieve.
Today I am grateful to have my clients. From the advanced to the beginners I enjoy working with all of them. I love the feeling of giving someone a product that they would have never expected. Sometimes the music is bad, but I understand that that is part of the journey of growing as an artist so I don’t mind helping along the way. You absolutely must write bad songs before you do anything worth doing.
Today I’m grateful for my new kitty cat! This cat is so damn cute I’m pretty sure that it’s a result of rainbows fucking.
I’m grateful for music! ‘Nuff said.
Losing my father at age 10 wasn’t easy. To really see and learn death at that young of an age is something that really helps sculpt your upbringing and the way you think. You can go two ways: lash out about it or learn from it. I am so grateful that I had that happened because I learned from it. It made me question the trivial things in life since I was always reminded how short it could be. It taught me what not to do. I feel like any parent would sacrifice their own lives to teach their child those lessons. I’m not saying my father was a noble martyr, he didn’t do it on purpose… But it does bring purpose to his death. In the end, purpose is what we all need.
I am very grateful for my family. I can always depend on them when I am down and out and can always count on them for a laugh. I miss the random days of dinners, nights out at the bar, and family parties. They’re one of the greatest bunch of dysfunctional people in the world.
I am extremely grateful for my friends. I have a wonderful group of imperfect people that are great friends. We’ve had many laughs, shared similar dreams, and can always trust each other. To know that you have people that you can always depend on that will be there when you’re old and grey is a wonderful thing.
Everything I have ever learned in my life was not easy. I have many more failures than I care to remember. Constantly having a great vision of something but not seeing it through. Lack of motivation and ADD. I failed at saving any kind of money at my job of six years when right now I could be buying a house (or an API board to sleep under). I have wasted time dating when I was single trying to force things with people I had no business talking to in the first place. I have lost friends in my life. Failed business relationships. Failed portions of my relationship that stripped away trust. I failed so many things that I tried. It’s not always to be confident when you look at these things you may have wanted to do differently in life. It depends on your outlook. I am grateful for these things. These failures only make me who I am and help sculpt me into the man I continue to grow to be. I have a feeling if I stay on my right path I’ll end up where I need to be in business, my relationship, and location.
I am grateful for my accomplishments. I was always extremely intelligent compared to my peers growing up. I always had a thirst to expand my knowledge as much as I could about things that I cared about and I ignored the things that I didn’t. Spanish and science took a backseat as I dove into history, politics, and worked on developing my own ideological style of living and viewpoints.
My former job. I am grateful for having the experience I did in the title industry. To help be a part of a company from the beginning, help it grow while learning so much at a young age, and being able to finally leave it behind with no regrets was a great 6 years of my life. The skills I developed there I carry with me always. I learned what it meant to be ethical in an extremely unethical environment. In the end, it wasn’t for me. I lost my interest in the circus that was going on.
My girlfriend. Though this may seem like I’m objectifying her, I had a goal for years of my life to be with her. I was head over heels for her for years. At the worst possible moment I was finally able to begin my relationship with her. It certainly wasn’t the best start but we pulled out alive.
My dreams. I am proud of my childish dreams. Most people gave up on theirs to settle for a life of complacency on the clock. I dreamt to be a songwriter and studio engineer and do what I could to change the world in my own small way.
My culture. I happily abandoned my culture. This patriotic, media driven, star spangled dump stain doesn’t hold a place in my heart the way it does to others. I am proud of this. I am proud that I am smart enough to overlook a culture that is under 300 years young in a world that has created life for millions of years. Borders are a silly thing to fight over and this country has an army of morons standing by at any second to support the evil things being done in the world in the name of security, patriotism, and superiority.
Letting go. I’m proud of myself for learning to let go of things much better than I used to. I constantly lived in the past with no focus for a future and now I an constantly keeping goals in mind. Things that bothered me for years that I obsessed over have vanished. Ex girlfriends, my girlfriends previous relationship, ex business partners: I have cleared the space in my brain of this negativity. It is part of learning to love.
Moving on. To pick up everything with no plan and leave where you’re from takes courage. Leaving your cushy job takes courage. Starting your own business when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing takes courage. I found my courage again once I started dating my girlfriend. It’s not to not take credit for doing these things, but she inspired me to do so without even knowing it. All those negative energies I had towards government, corrupt businesses I worked for, and the cold she made me want to push through those things and take control of living again. Prior to that, I was Mr. American Complacency. Working a job with stable finances, giving my time to that job, gluing myself to a TV, and being so depressed about the lack of living in my life.
The law of attraction. I am grateful for the universe and all that it has given me and continues to give back to me. The magnetic relationship between the universe and it’s people has allowed me to lead a fantastic life so far full of things I need. It has it’s ups and downs but it is supposed to. We always have the power to get back on that elevator and say “going up.”
It is time to increase my positive energy again. I need to meditate more, focus on things I want, give back more to my community, and focus my thoughts on aligning my goals again. Part of that, is expressing gratitude. For the next few days I am going to exercise expressing my gratitude everyday for the things that I appreciate.
These movies are so good. I doubt I’ll ever outgrow Star Wars.
I have always stood behind one principle in history when growing up. Something most people couldn’t see: Hate cannot exist without love. You simply cannot hate something with love being involved. It’s the opposite of extremes. It is impossible to hate something unless you either have loved it yourself or it has damaged something that you love. How could you ever hate a stranger? You can’t. Unless they hurt something you love or effected an ideal that you believe in. When I tell people this they think it’s complicated, but it’s quite simple really. You cannot hate without love.
Fuck mediocrity. I’m going for greatness.